Archive for the ‘the still small voice within’ Category

42. How You See It

December 7, 2018

When you try to do something and you fail, that seems to suggest that you can’t do it. Suggest, but not prove. This is where you have to decide, and choose between letting it go, or trying harder. If you try again and fail again, the suggestion gets stronger, so the determination must get stronger too, or else, there is the option to let go of that endeavor, and move on. Does that make you a quitter? Or a failure? This is your choice too. Giving up too soon or too often is not a strength, though it’s not a disgrace either. But the price you pay is, you never give yourself a fighting chance.

Everything that happens in life is open to interpretation, and ultimately the only interpretation/ opinion/ belief that matters is yours, because that is the only one that actually has any actual true power or influence on your life.

The children’s rhyme “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me” is not quite true. Words can hurt, a lot, but can not conquer you, unless you choose to let them. You always have a choice. Are you going to let somebody else “out there” set your course in life? Will you choose to let their opinion change your inner knowing that you are more than they can see? Are you doing that now? Why?

Once in a conversation, a firefighter friend told me “You can do it if you set your mind to it.” I wanted to be a firefighter but as a woman, at five-foot- six and 112 pounds, the odds against it were enormous. Three years of hard work pumping iron, running bleachers with a backpack full of sand, 40-mile bike rides, and several failed firefighter-physical-agility tests later, one day I didn’t fail. I passed that one, and then I passed some more, and eventually  did I became firefighte then an officer. Though I started out late, I served eight years of active duty first-response Fire and EMS, with a remarkable performance record. It turned out my friend was right. Since then, whenever I’ve had to set a difficult goal for myself, my mantra has been: “I can, and I will.”

Here’s a truth: It’s possible to learn more from failing than succeeding. If you start out not strong enough, you have to learn how to get strong, and then that learning and confidence will be there for you in everything else you do. The experience of failure is painful and humbling, but it is the ultimate challenge to inner strength. It can develop character and courage, depending on how you see it. Failure is one experience that can come between you and success, one rock in the road.  Everything depends on how you choose to see it. Life is open to an unlimited number of interpretations. The only one that matters, is yours.

Ravi Shankar said this: Life is like a river. The river does not stop because there is  stone”

26. The Cancer of Trump

October 1, 2017

It’s Sunday, my day of reflection and spiritual peace. It’s also Yom Kippur, the time of atonement, and I find within myself something ugly growing. Trump has succeeded in making me hate him. Hate is something I refuse to engage in, and this has been my chosen practice for all of my adult life. Yet this man is so totally evil and soulless, and so constantly attacking every decent thing in my country and the world, always in the headlines destroying, destroying, destroying, our spirit of unity as a nation, and every ideal of democracy, decency, and honesty our country was founded upon, and always, before, has represented in the world. He carelessly and arrogantly commits acts no decent or sane person would ever do. My rage rises up against this monstrous being, and the damage he is eagerly doing to everyone and the planet, and the way that he takes pleasure and pride in it. That’s the hardest part to forgive.

I struggle with this. But when I meditate and pray about it, even though my heart is deeply troubled, the still-small-voice within assures me again, that we are all called to stand for something, and to protect what we know is right, in the face of what we know is wrong. Those are my thoughts today.

I am still the same compassionate person I have always been. I was a public servant (8 years in ALCO Fire Service) and a medical caregiver (20 years in E.R.) where I was able to have genuine compassion for some of the least-blessed and most-rejected forms of our human lives – alcoholics, heroin addicts, crack heads, wife-beaters, even a few murderers. But I cannot muster up any compassion for the vicious cruelty, hideous racism, and insatiable greed of Donald Trump, a reality no one in America can honestly sanely deny. When we have removed him from his illegal dictatorship and stopped his systematic destruction of my country and it’s decent hardworking people, then I will try again to forgive.